The Mom Version
Some days I wake up and I think to myself… who let me be a parent?! I'm way too young for this!
I'm 37.
But what's more wild is that our children only know this version of us.
They never met us as children. They never saw us innocently running around the backyard chasing fireflies or learning how to do things for the first time, just like them.
They never saw us as teenagers trying to survive in the wild.
They never saw our heartbreaks. The mistakes we've made. The journey that led us to them.
So while we carry all of these versions of us, they only know us as one of them… mom.
And how refreshing is that?!
They don’t ask us to show up as perfect mothers. The women we were in the past have no bearings on who we are to them. It doesn't matter how many sports we played as kids or jobs we've held in our past. Our awards and medals mean nothing to them.
I was thinking about this the other day as I was rocking my baby to sleep and she was fussing and I was trying new ways to soothe her. And I found myself telling her "I've had an Izzy before. I've had a Charlotte before. But I've never had an Amelia!" and it's true. She will never know me as the first-time mom or the second-time mom. She only knows me as her mom.
And I think about my own mom. She's told me so many stories about her growing up, going to school, working, and all of the little memories that tie those versions together. But still, I only know her as my mom. She might have had the same anxieties that I have. She might have felt unequipped to be a mom. She probably called my grandma for advice all the time.
But to me, she's supermom.
My own kids see me make breakfast every morning. They see me do laundry. They see me scoop them up and get out the door to the grocery store. This is who they will remember!
When we look in the mirror and see someone anxious or worn thin, our kids just see the one who loves them. Every single day is a new chance to shed the versions of ourselves that hold us back and become the mom we want our kids to know.
