My 3rd Baby's Birth Story



There is something therapeutic about sharing your birth story. It's such a sacred memory to honor. So here is mine, written out so I always remember.


But the story really begins three hours after my middle baby's birth. After a redemptive repeat c-section for the baby I insisted was my last, I took one look at her and knew instantly I'd be here again. Something inside of me said I wasn't done. At first I thought it was the hormones, which definitely would tell me that. But after a few months, my husband and I both felt the same way. We were already in the throes of two under two. Why not add to the chaos?!


It took two years to have Izzy and two months to have Charlotte, so we had nooo idea what to expect. So imagine my surprise to find two pink lines staring back at me when I was 10 months postpartum!


But I instantly felt relief. To be honest, I love pregnancy. My first was riddled with first-time mom anxiety, and after my infertility journey, it carried heavy emotions too. I took so few photos and regretted it. My second was easier, but I was chasing my young and wild toddler around, so if I'm honest, I wallowed more than I cherished the time. This time I knew it would be different. If it was my final pregnancy, I wanted to embrace every single day.


So I did. Physically, it was so. freaking. hard. But every single day I loved my little growing belly. I took all the bump pics. All the maternity pics. Every ache was so worth it. And at the end, I still wished I had more time, despite my hips practically breaking in half. I was just so grateful I got to do it again.


There were times I thought about what it would be like to have a natural birth. After my oldest's birth went 42 weeks, resulting in an induction and an emergency c-section after 36 hours of back labor and three hours of pushing, the thought of labor terrified me. It was traumatizing to say the least. But there was a moment, right as I lay down on the operating table, when I wondered if it was the right decision.


It's an unpopular opinion, but c-sections can be absolutely beautiful, and mine truly was. We showed up at the hospital nice and early! Back when I was pregnant for the first time, I brought a comfier hospital gown, and I've worn it for all of my births, and my best friend even wore it when she had her son. It felt like putting on a familiar bathrobe! I got so excited when my doctor came into the room. She delivered Charlotte, so it's always comforting to see her. She's such a warm and kind person, and she can turn a major surgery into something so special.


After a slight delay, it was go time. It's a weird feeling walking into the operating room knowing you are about to meet your baby. Unlike vaginal labor, it's fairly anticlimactic! Which is weird because you're about to HAVE A BABY! I thought I'd be emotional, but I was just taking it all in. My husband went to the waiting room, and I entered the room.


I never thought an operating room would feel so familiar, but walking in for a third time felt like home in a way. It's the room where all of my babies enter the world. The room where my life started over three different times.


After my spinal, I lay down on the table and let it all sink in. With so many things out of my control, one of the few things I got to have input on is my playlist. I made a playlist of my favorite happy worship music, mostly Phil Wickham and Brandon Lake, and they set it up for me.


As my legs started to tingle, oxygen was placed in my nose, and my chest felt heavy. And briefly I started to worry. What will my pain be like? How long will it last? How will my recovery be? What if something happens?


But as soon as my husband walked in, I knew it would all be okay. It's a bit of a blur, but within 7 minutes she was here! I felt some tugging and pulling and then took a deep breath as they did a final push on my belly. I heard her sweet little cry, and everything felt right.


As with all of my children, the first thing I hear is someone saying, "Wow, that's a big baby!" And she was no different. 8lbs of adorableness! They moved the cloth so I could see her, and then my husband left with her to measure her and watch her first few minutes of life. After what felt like an eternity, he walked her over to me.


I thought I would sob, but truly it just felt meant to be. Like I was always meant to be her mom. All I could do was smile and thank the lord. She was born to Phil Wickham's song "Isn't He Good," and it was a true reminder of how GOOD He really is!


Travis left with her, and I remained in the OR while they sewed me back up. Another weird feeling that became second nature to me. And weirdly comforting. I listened to my playlist and just smiled and marveled that my beautiful daughter was finally here.


After they were done, I moved into recovery and finally held her for the first time!

I'll never forget holding my oldest for the first time after surgery. I was shell-shocked and terrified. And now it feels like second nature. She melted into my arms and all of a sudden we were a family of five.


Our hospital stay was beautiful. We chose not to have visitors so I could give myself time to recover, and we cherished the time with just the three of us before returning home to our new chaotic and beautiful normal. While we missed the kids dearly, I knew I'd never get this time back.


We cuddled. Took tons of photos. And savored every second before life would change forever as we went home.


I know a c-section isn't everybody's first choice at birth, but it truly can be beautiful. I'll forever be grateful for my hospital and my doctor, who made my birth as perfect as a surgery can be. It has forced me to relax, take the time to heal, and surrender my plans to God.